People look to the news, Instagram, and Facebook to read stories about people who have achieved fame in one way or the other. How these people have fallen from grace, and we secretly feel pleased and self-righteous. We grudgingly love how the rich and the famous have become even more so, even better if they have become infamous. There is a grudging admiration for their place in the world because our marker of stories worth telling is for many celebrities and rarely for the ordinary men and women we meet. Moreover, these stories are never ours and belong to someone else.
Usually, we don't even recognize that we, too, have a story to share, a story to tell; The everyday narrative that builds lives "organically" and not through influencers and Instagram lives.
Today I was returning home from the airport and took a taxi in which the seat covers in front were still plastic covered, and the car smelt new. The driver took a moment to get in; once he did, he was beaming with pride and said in Hindi...." Ma'am, today is my first day." "What do you mean on the first day...you mean your new car?" "Yes, ma'am. No, ma'am." Now I was confused. He explained. "First day driving madame." in his simple, humble Hindi accent, and would be the extent of his comfort with English.
Not only was it a new car, but it was also his first day as a driver! I congratulated him profusely and thought I must give him a gift when the ride is over. A token gift with the mandatory additional rupee one to ensure that it is a work in progress and brings abundance. So when the ride ended after a long discussion of all the things he needed to buy for his new car... a stand, mats, seat covers, and how he was earlier a scrap seller till he had collected enough to buy a car. After paying for the ride, I handed him the "gift," and he was confused for a moment and said, "No no, I can't take it." Then I insisted.... and he beamed with joy. But that's not the story.
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The story takes life when he goes home, and his family asks him how was your first day; he will say, "You know what, a random lady I didn't know gave me blessings in the form of a gift." In the coming days, he will think back to this moment when things get tough as they always do and possibly take umbrage from it. Perhaps, his family will share the story with a few people they meet. These people, who may have been naysayers to his new venture, will begin to believe in him, and support him... after all, if a stranger can, why not us. This sets the universe in motion. The little stories... the organic stories. Life is, at the end of the day, about the narrative we can share. Not just the people we know and love but the people we will more than likely never meet again. Give them a story that they can share. It's not about money; it could be a genuinely kind word to someone who looks like no one has ever paid them a compliment.
There's a girl I used to work with, she was a plain-looking girl, and because of the humbleness of her background, her attire was as plain as she was. She was a very helpful person in ever so many ways. No matter how many times I said I appreciated how helpful she was, it did not seem to matter much. However, one day, I told her she has absolutely beautiful eyes, and she did. She could not believe it and asked me, 'Really?' She was glowing. It was what she needed to hear. We need to be 'aware' of what someone needs from us.
There are some people who are always inundated with compliments, the intelligent ones, the good-looking ones... and yet for every one person like that, there are ten to whom no one has ever said anything particularly nice, and they don't believe in themselves. Seek people exactly like that in your day. People that you can pay a genuine compliment to. Not the "I love your dress" type of shallow compliment but a genuine "I see you" story. Because now they have a story, they can go home and say, oh my God, you know what someone said to me today! The energies shift in their body language, and now suddenly, they believe in themselves. If only for a few days... it's ok.
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If these are people you see often, observe them without judgment for a few days or moments, if that's all you have, and then say something. If what you are saying or doing can change the energy of a person, then do it. Let me emphasize that a narrative is not just an empty compliment; it must be a story. People are just craving to be seen, craving to be heard. How you see and hear them can make all the difference. The compliment to a waiter at a restaurant, the conversation with your Uber driver on how he became a driver, asking a colleague who is shy and not confident what their dream is, asking the salesperson you meet in a store to talk about their best sale ever. Talk to them, not at them.
Be intentional with what you say, be intentional with what you do. Don't go through each day as though it's just another day.....no! Use it as another opportunity to make a difference, to meet your purpose. It's similar to a word hug, only bigger.
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