Do you wish you had more money? Do you wish you were rich? Do you wish that you had enough to overcome the endless bills that seem to never stop? Do you think you should work harder? Before you do that, have you ever explored your relationship with money?
“What do you mean by that?” most people will ask.
Some people will say they don't think about money much, or they will pooh pooh it like it is a terrible thing and the root of all evil. However most will admit that they wish they had more. They wish it wasn't so hard for them to make. Few realise that they have a relationship with money. It is this very relationship that impacts how much money we make. What kind of relationship do you have?
Do you overthink every time you need to spend a large amount of money on yourself? On an outfit, a watch… or something else of high value. “Well, that's because I can't afford it.” you say.
Do you run a dialogue in your head that goes something like ..
"I love this, I must buy it"
"No no you can't it's such a waste"
"I don't have money for such things"
"But I really love it"
"What will my mother think? "
"I must save my money for an emergency."
The dialogue goes on and on in your head, till one day it is indeed spent on an emergency.
The relationship you have with money, if you are repeatedly having such conversations with yourself, indicates a relationship of fear. You constantly fear the loss of money in your life or a fear of there not being enough to meet your needs. This poor relationship with money is because you don't value yourself over everything else. There's a feeling of lack and that feeling of lack becomes a feeling of I don't deserve, and a feeling of I don't have enough. So this feeling of fear manifests into struggle. Struggle to make money. We feel that the lack of abundance in our life is due to lack of money.
No, that's absolutely not true. It is your lack of an abundant mindset that causes the lack of money and not the other way around. At this point the overthinking begins, going into a vicious circle.
"No no no you don't understand. I don't have enough money, there is no question of mindset."
Let me tell you a story of a man whose friends would go to hangout outside the Taj hotel while they all worked in clerical jobs, to get a glimpse of the people coming in and out. He never went inside. He decided that he would either eat inside or not go at all. He wasn't rich, but he had a mindset that said not if, but when. Despite being a mere clerk, his aspiration and belief was that I definitely will do this, sooner or later.
One man sold newspapers to pay his tuition fees and send money to his mother as his father had lost his job, he had 8 siblings. Many years later he contacted the editor of the same newspaper who had recently retired and wrote his last editorial, to thank him for giving him his first job as a newspaper boy and to let him know that today he owned multiple homes around the world and had done well for himself. He showed his gratitude by visiting him in his hometown, and taking gifts. He knew and understood that the man who gave him a job of delivering newspapers had given him an opportunity to support his family. For which he was grateful.
Another man as an immigrant to a new country was working as a railway guard, and then as postman, he missed the rich curries back home his mother prepared and wanted to eat something other than sandwiches. Curious about one of London's finest Indian restaurants, Veera Swamy, he decided to spend his meager savings there, to savor good Indian food. It was not a prudent thing to do but in his mind it was worth it to be able to eat good Indian food. Mind you it was a very expensive restaurant but he felt he was worthy of this experience. However the hotel manager thought otherwise, seeing his clothes and the colour of his skin told him, "sir we don't accept cheques."; on the off chance that he was trying to eat for free. A veiled insult but one that circumstances demanded that he swallow. The story stayed with him, and he told it to his wife and children a few years later.
Fifty years later, his children took him and his wife as a surprise to the restaurant for their fiftieth wedding anniversary. After the party, the manager approached the table and said humbly, "sir, we will gladly accept your cheque." as his children had not forgotten the story or the slight.
The man was overwhelmed and was grateful that he had not let that instance years ago colour his relationship with money. Rather his children had brought it full circle.
Many of us have a relationship of fear with money. Of losing it. Of being without it. So we cling to it, lest we lose it. Often we do. As always when we are vibrating our fears, they come true. Yet many like the men in the stories, who often have just a few rupees, but they don't hesitate to share, to spend or to help another. They know that the universe has provided abundantly for all of us and if you can abandon the fear and see the value of money for what it really is. Money is just a tool. Nothing else. What is of true value is your mindset.
The abundance mindset thrives on gratefulness for whatever we receive, however small. To do it daily, especially in our prayers whenever possible. The deep belief that there will always be enough in your life. To expect the best to happen, and you will receive it.
Do you ever notice that some of your friends always reach to pay the bill and some never do despite earning the same or similar salaries? It is not because they have more money, but their mindset is abundant. Some people, whenever you go to their home, will be so generous in their hospitality despite their limited means, again an abundant mindset.
If you are familiar with the Sanskrit Indian saying, "Atithi Devo Bhava"...."a guest is a manifestation of God in your home." But what does it really mean? It means when a guest comes to your home and you treat them like a God, the blessings your guest will shower on you, will manifest into more good fortune and abundance in your life.
The men in the stories are one and the same, my father. He told us often as we grew up, "Believe you deserve nothing less than the very best, and that's what you will get."
So observe yourself, your thoughts and your actions. Are they based on fear or on abundance? Watch what you say, what you do and what you think. It will not come in a day or two. Sometimes it takes practice for years, but it comes. Focus on what you want, your own home, your first car, to go abroad for studies. Never focus on what you don't want. Even when you lose money, just shrug your shoulders and think to yourself, maybe someone else needed it more than I did. You will experience a beautiful shift in your life.
Remember, the abundant mindset brings you true wealth.
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