“When in love, either go all the way or don’t venture into that realm at all,” is what we are told all the time. Well! That’s easier said than done.
When you find someone attractive and have a sort of connection with the person. Something that you have not experienced with anyone else..something that makes you forget your sorrows and makes the world look beautiful; then probably you are in love with him/her.
‘Probably’….; because the query factor is always at the back of your mind; whether this is just an attraction or just an infatuation or just that phase of your life that will pass and you will find someone better etc . And when you finally convince yourself that you are in love, you are never sure about his feelings.
Finally, when both convince each other about their love, then the ‘what if’ questions start; whether this relationship could lead to a ‘happily ever after’ or not!
Being in love with each other while staying apart is much easier than ‘continuing’ to be in love when you both finally start living together-whether after marrying or in a live-in relationship. That is because when you live with someone, there is a certain responsibility that also gets attached with the relationship which both parties need to bear equally.
The responsibility could be in the form of sharing household work, finances, supporting each other’s career and other interests, giving each other space, looking after other family members, respecting others’ religion etc.
There could be hundreds of ‘What if’ questions related to these responsibilities that can be uppermost in your mind, which may not be allowing you to say the ‘Yes, I do’.
It makes sense to discuss these with your partner before the ‘Yayys’ are voiced and you end up at the altar.
One of the major ‘what if’ problems, when in love is, whether the families concerned would accept the alliance or not, especially if it is an inter-caste marriage. It is entirely up to the couple to convince their parents about their love for each other. This can be done after they check their own compatibility, their willingness to compromise with each other’s viewpoints and how deep their love is for each other. Once convinced about each other, they can put the ‘what if’s’ aside and go ahead with a positive mind.
Vedic astrology has mastered the unique way of testing compatibility between two people by matching their horoscopes (Kundli matching), based on ‘nakshatras’(Lunar Constellations), called ‘Ashtakoot Milan’ or simply ‘Guna Milap’. Points were assigned to factors that influence compatibility between two people wanting to settle together for life.
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The more the points, the more the chances of a happy companionship and the less would be the thoughts on the controversial ‘What if’s’.
Another way, which may not be as reliable as ‘Kundli Matching’ is to simply check the Zodiac signs for compatibility between the star signs of the two.